So Who Was She?

Does it Matter?

Truth is, I don’t care and I have never asked.

I don’t care where they met.

I don’t care why they met.

I don’t care who started it.

Oh, I had the chance to talk to Nose Moreno, that night he called and tried to put her on the phone with me. He was too much of a coward to face me with the truth. He wanted HER to talk to me. Some would have used that opportunity to yell and scream obscenities at her. But, I am a Christian woman, and I was going to act like one to the best of my ability. That is the difference between her and I in a nutshell. I never lose sight of the basic respect all people deserve. I know my husband holds the greatest blame in all this. However, I am also keenly aware that she was a calculating, heartless player in this tragedy.

What matters to me is that the moment she discovered he was still married, and had a wife and child, the relationship should have been over. The fact that she continued with the relationship, pushed him to leave his wife, caused my son and I so many days of anxiety, confusion and pain? That tells me everything I need to know about her.

It is very likely that my husband told her he was single or separated when they met. I would not have faulted her for that. But, at some point, she knew, and it did not matter. Let me correct that. Two innocent people, all their friends and their families did not matter to her. That makes her a selfish being.

She was carrying on an adulterous affair. She did not respect the sacred vows of our marriage. She never discouraged my husband from sin. That makes her evil.

She spent weeks torturing me with Baby magazines, emails, Facebook messages, photographs, and details of their ongoing relationship. Despite the fact that I never contacted her, it took a restraining order to get her to stop. That makes her psycho.

When I think back to moments when he would disappear without explanation, he was probably with her. When his guilt took over, there was a series of increasingly violent rages that he would level against my son and I. He would return to the home frustrated and angry because he was arguing with her about his marital status. But, he brought those feelings home and took it out on us. He would yell at our son to finish school or he wouldn’t pay. He would criticize everything our son did, or insult him because his job did not pay much. Then he would turn it on me when I tried to intervene and bring peace to the house. He said I was choosing sides when all I did was to try to stop the arguments and insults from turning into a fistfight. This went on for months. I finally suggested to my son that he move out to live with my parents until I could get his father help.

I spent the last six months of my married life doubting myself, worried, tortured, crying and nearly going mad worrying about my husband, who I thought was clinically depressed.

SHE was inspiring all that pain.

No, I have very little interest in her. I don’t associate with people who are morally corrupt and spiritually empty. I pray for her every day, so that she may change. But, she has my pity, not my interest.

Unfortunately, the drama she and my husband so dearly love kept spilling over into my quiet life. It led us all the way to the courtroom in front of a judge who, for once, was interested in a little justice.

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Comments
4 Responses to “So Who Was She?”
  1. Jennigan says:

    I love the way you write, Erika! Keep your chin up, you are a wonderful person who deserves more than this! =D

    • erikar007 says:

      Thanks! It is cathartic….and I am pleasantly surprise at the compliments for my writing. Such a wonderful (and needed) boost.

      I love that you signed up as JENNIGAN too! *HUGS*

  2. SD Movie Buddy says:

    It’s a privilege to read the words of a woman who has found the narrow gate and is following the path that leads to life and joy. After the pain you’ve endured it would have been so easy, and more easily understood by this world, to take the wider, easier road of hate.
    I applaud you, Erika!

    • erikar007 says:

      Thank you for such a wonderful compliment. I am humbled. I have been raised to believe that love heals in every situation. Hate kills. I decided long ago to live a Christian life….not just speak it. That’s not to say I don’t have my moments. This situation sure has tested me. So far, I think I am doing well!

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